I wrote this in early 2010, but never posted it. I found it again last night and decided to share.

I always say I was raised kinda Catholic. I was baptized, did my first communion at age 7 and my confirmation at age 12. I was taught about the Catholic faith in high school but honestly, not much of it stuck. I know the most famous stories from the Bible and some little tidbits but that’s where my knowledge ends.

I don’t think I ever saw people living their faith. The Catholic church to me feels more like tradition. It feels old, big and heavy with little room for change or personal faith. Maybe it’s the masses I attended, that I didn’t have a very convincing priest. Maybe it’s that I never went because I wanted to go, I don’t know.

Back in February (2010) I stayed with Cliff and Stephanie for a week. Each week they have what used to be called a small-group Bible study but now is called book club. They invited me to participate. I just listened for the evening but it was very enlightening. This was a very different way of dealing with your faith. These were open, honest and frank discussions about topics that matter in every day life. I’d alway felt that faith was something only old people has (maybe because the only religious people I knew were my grandparents) but these were people much closer to my age who showed a belief in God.

I’ve always struggled with what I believe. I heard someone on tv once say that if there was a church of somethingism it would be the biggest right now. That’s exactly where I’m at. I believe in something, I just haven’t figured out what that something is. Maybe I’m too cynical to really believe in God. Maybe I’m waiting for a light switch-moment that will never come.